Talking to the hand that feeds you

If smoking ads were real, and I mean really real, the cigarettes would talk.

 Oh? That is Interesting... (voice tails upward). Just what exactly would these "talking cigarette" ads look like? To allow for imaginative discussion, this concept will be explored through a more historic time context: that of pre-April-of-1970, when airing cigarette ads on television was still legal. Moving... pictures! Mr. Burns clasps bony hands, spurred to motion by greedy anticipation. 

Surely, those ancient purveyors of Philip Morris^TM-brand porno, who capitalized big-time on jacking up the sexual elements of the lone wolf male and the independent female, who then went further into the nuclear family room, to buddy up that same couple's children with Joe Camel... well, let's just say that they could have done the talking cigarette thing. Had the technology. Lacked the remorse. Piece of cake.

A Desire To Stop Meetings

"Is anyone here celebrating one year?" Slowly, I raised my hand. From out of nowhere came a shout of congratulations, followed by a round of applause. At the head table of the meeting sat the chairperson, who noted this and stood, beckoning me to join him at the podium. Surrounded by warmth, support, and back-pats... given to me, a stranger to this group!... I rose from my fold-out seat.

The cheering grew louder as I approached the front of the table, where the chairperson stood to embrace me (hey now!), while handing me a metallic coin signifying that I had not taken a drink of alcohol for one year.

Nervously, I stepped up to the podium, and looked at the sea of enthusiastic faces. Clutching the coin infused me with a sense of confidence, and  I cleared my throat. "Hi. My name is B.S., and I used to be an alcoholic.”

The Atheist Comedian on marijuana prohibition

This man is really funny. His comedy videos are on youtube, at klfly.

NSFW: one sexual reference, and discussion over an illegal plant.